Monday, 17 March 2014

WARNING - Adult Content........!

The Spanky Bottom Consultation.
By Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Chapter 6 – Steamed Dumplings and Borscht

Have you seen the Pullemov's? They weren't at breakfast.” Audrey demanded to Rodney.

I wish the blasted woman would knock, Rodney thought, as she threw open the door and strode unannounced into his study.

With an expression that pointed accusation, she darted her annoyance at Rodney, saying, “Jasper and I, and that ridiculous friend of yours, were the only ones there.”

Nobody comes down to breakfast. They are all too shagged out. It's what they pay for. Non stop sex with my super dick consorts and then breakfast in bed with whichever super dick they have ended up staying the night with. Perhaps your Russians enjoyed the facilities. ”

As attack is the best policy for defense, he added, “And why the hell should I know where your Russians are?” Tucked up with her lovely squidgy pussy planted firmly in my bed. And as soon as you have buggered off, I'm going back up there for some more squidgy pussy.

Rodney gave her a look that was meant to convey she was disturbing him, and would she please go away.

It fell on deaf eyes, “So, have you seen them?” She repeated.

Rodney, lied one of his effortless lies, “No, can't say as I have. Try the pool area or perhaps the garden?” He smiled helpfully, mentally shoving her violently out of the door.

He gratefully accepted Audrey's nodding huff, as she gave up trying to get any sense out of him, and went in search of her quarry.

Upstairs, lying in his bed, hiding from her husband, and by now having eaten her way through a full English breakfast, of bacon, sausages, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, toast with jam and a pot of Earl Grey tea, was the woman, it was hard to believe - but for the first time that he could ever think of, Rodney had fallen in love with. Not just the pretend one good screw for the night sort of love. He had found the real thing. He'd been hit by a ten tonne Russian truck and he was in ecstasy.

Putting the tips of his fingers together, he laid back in his chair and breathed deeply at the memory of the night they'd just shared together. The way her belly wobbled underneath him as he pushed himself in and out of her was stupendous.

And those magnificent thighs, he reminisced, his thoughts whirling back to how Olga had gripped his torso between her two thunderous legs. She was a machine, a gripping, crushing, sex pounding machine.

It took all of Rodney's control not to run up the stairs for another session of rolling and sweating with this lusciously overweight wonder of womanhood. She was the fat to his lean. Her ungrateful, adulterous uncaring thug of a husband had no right to get in the way of his having sex with Olga.

He didn't want to think that when the week-end was over, so would be his exploration of her body. And there was a lot to explore. The more Rodney thought about the rolls of fat clinging to Olga's stomach, and her udderously large tits, he knew it would be impossible for him to part with her.

Rodney ran up the stairs two at a time, which wasn't bad going for a man of his age. Half way up the wide staircase he collided with Olek, coming down just as fast.

Sorry.” Rodney apologized curtly, wishing he could take his shot-gun to the man and solve the problem of his being married to Olga.

You haven't seen my wife have you?” Olek rushed at Rodney, never considering he should also apologize.

Err... No. Sorry.”, Rodney replied then with a bit of quick thinking he said, “I think she may have gone shopping with Audrey.”

Thank god for that.” Hearing the good news, Olek turned tail and ran back up the stairs, shouting over his shoulder, “Get your maid to bring more champagne, the twins are thirsty.” With that, the giant Russian disappeared into the Chang twin’s bedroom.

If the twins hadn't been paying customers, Rodney would have ignored Olek but then idea struck him that with several bottles of champagne and room-service, Olek wasn't likely to leave the twins room all day. He about-faced and raced to the kitchen. He gave instructions to Dolores, to keep the champagne coming and to make sure Olek, not only didn't come out of the room for the rest of his visit, but that he wasn't capable of leaving the room, even if he wanted too.

His Olga awaited and he was going to make sure while Olek, steamed the Chang twins dumplings he was going to give Olga's borscht a mighty stir.

Olga viewed her reflection in the tall mirror Rodney used to make sure his attire was perfect each morning. She took a long appraising look at herself. Olek hadn't fancied her, so why in the Kremlin, should a man like Lord Rodney want her over stretched body? The fact he could not get enough of her blubber was beyond her.

She had lost count of the orgasms her aristocratic lover, had rubbed and pounded, her way. Just thinking about his Viagra enhanced, well proportioned love stick had the pleasure spot between her legs, throbbing wet.

A violent shudder of hate burst into her mind as an image of Olek interrupted her happiness.

Soon after they were married, Olek had gone in rapid succession from the man of her dreams, to the man of her nightmares. He made smacking noises when he ate, talked with his mouth full, burped and farted in company and in 10 years of marriage, he'd never once made her come. Not so much as a quick woo woo. On their wedding night, he was the only one up against the wall who'd got their rocks off.

How to get rid of the uncouth bastard was something Olga often spent her days dreaming about. She had him followed, not as he thought because she was jealous but because she hoped to get evidence of his unfaithfulness. Dada would have had him shot on the spot if he'd been caught, but the rat finked bastard had always been just that bit too clever for her. Adultery meant she could sue for divorce, and keep all of her dear Dada's ill-gotten wealth to herself.

No hanky panky on Olek's part and she was stuffed – by him, in the wrong way. He'd keep her money and she would be screwed – again by him, and again in the wrong way.

Two warm, never done a days work in their life, soft hands moved up from behind her and placed themselves on her very full ripe breasts. The tall mirror reflected a naked Rodney pushing his stiffy between her mountainous buttocks.

Loving the feel of his hard pussy fucker, she squeezed and unsqueezed her butt cheeks together, clamping him to a hot sticky climax. Still coupled together they shuffled over to the bed, throwing themselves onto the black satin sheets, and went in for a second round of squeezing and clamping.

Ooo..” Olga giggled. He so knew how to make a girl's clit vibrate with the merest of rubs from his moist cock.

Her only thoughts of Olek, as Rodney, nimbly titillated her pleasure button between dexterous fingers and his engorged cock was the desire to be a widow.

Meanwhile in the bedroom next door, Emma's tongue was causing a sensation on Olek's giant erection and his long, as big as a penis tongue, was sending sensational ripples of pleasure up Emily's open slit.

Olek was also wondering about Olga.

He was wondering why she hadn't come looking for him and how much longer this delightful piece of luck would last.

He'd given strict instructions to his bodyguards Ivan and Serge, to keep his wife far away from him, for as long as possible. However, he knew that even this most dedicated duo, couldn't keep her away forever - pity.

The murderous thought crossed his mind many times, of how pleasant life would become if he sent Olga, to be with her dear old Dada. He might have known that the sneaky old shit would second guess him. If Olga died before he did, the money died with her. And if he got caught fucking anyone but the old sod's darling, spoilt brat of a daughter, she could divorce him and keep everything. The crafty Arctic fox of a general had known his favorite capo just that little bit too well.

Oli...” Emma and Emily cooed in unison, “Oli, exactly how rich are you?”

A dozen oil tankers and a fleet of aircraft rich.” And a few other business interests that neither you or Interpol need know anything about.


Our family owns a chain of Chinese restaurants.” Two sets of dark almond shaped eyes, calculated behind warm oriental smiles, his monetary worth.

I like Chinese food. And I like eating Chinese pussy.” Olek laughed loudly oblivious he'd laughed alone.

After the first fuck, Emily and Emma had tired of the overbearing self-satisfying, Russian. He had stamina but no finesse, and as lovers went he was completely selfish - but as he was paying for the champagne they had put up with his boorish sense of humor and his 'me-only' attitude towards sexual satisfaction. If they hadn't spent all their monthly allowance on the reunion week-end, he wouldn't have got a look-in between their open legs.

As they had no money for 'extras' like champagne and caviar, the twins did what they always did when short of cash. They satisfied the fantasies of rich men, who saw no problem in paying for everything. It was the only thing they liked about Olek, his pathetic need to show them he was rich.

As tired of Olek, as the twins were, they reckoned he was good to replace their misspent allowance, and with a bit of prodding and a couple of blow-jobs he would add to their depleted funds.

They were wrong.

Olek, had no intention of funding them. It hit his male pride that he was about to pay for sex. It turned the Chang twins into prostitutes. And turned him off.

A small setback to the girls plans but nothing they couldn't retrieve. They had yet to meet the wife who wouldn't pay for a DVD of her husband's sexual infidelities and besides when they had each other and matching dildos, what did they need a lout like Olek for?

The characters in this short novella are not based on any real person and are purely fictional from the author's furtive imagination.

I hope you enjoyed this 6th chapter in my naughty novella -

Coming Soon.

Chapter 7 – Red Knickers and Tartan Underpants.

Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Half Blood – Turning the Pages Magazine, 2013 Adventure Book of the Year & 2013 Paranormal Book of the year.

Award winning novel about alien vampires from a distant galaxy, who are the good guys.

The Warlock's Woman. A beautiful psychic, an evil warlock and a sexy ghost. A love triangle with an unexpected twist at the end.

Get Slim Stay Slim – Permanently shows you through the use of hypnosis, the secret to reducing unwanted weight permanently and ending the misery of yo-yo dieting.

My other blog, connected to my weight reduction book with helpful ideas on how to maintain continuous weight reduction.

photos courtesy of

Sunday, 16 March 2014

My Interview with Books & Banter

Interview with Books & Banter

I hope you enjoy reading this interview as much as I enjoyed answering the questions.

I am a huge fan of book bloggers, without them we writers would not have the exposure we get to the reading public.

Loc Glin, is herself, a brilliant Erotic Romance and Fantasy writer of multiple novels.

A very happy week-end to all my readers....
Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Half Blood – Turning the Pages Magazine, 2013 Adventure Book of the Year & 2013 Paranormal Book of the year.

Award winning novel about alien vampires from a distant galaxy, who are the good guys.

The Warlock's Woman. A beautiful psychic, an evil warlock and a sexy ghost. A love triangle with an unexpected twist at the end.

Get Slim Stay Slim – Permanently shows you through the use of hypnosis, the secret to reducing unwanted weight permanently and ending the misery of yo-yo dieting.

My other blog, connected to my weight reduction book with helpful ideas on how to maintain continuous weight reduction.

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Warning - adult content.

The Spanky Bottom Consultation.
By Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Chapter 5 – The Naked Oligarch Uncoupling.

Olga came round to the sound of loud music and glasses being clinked in the room next to hers. Weird she thought when opened her eyes and saw her reflection looking back down at her from a large mirror on the ceiling.

She was so excited at spending the week-end at Rawlings, the sexually explicit d├ęcor and scantily dress people running around the place had yet to filter through into that part of her brain where alarm bells would normally had clanged out a warning. Cousin Rupert had been an unexpected surprise but confirmed all she had read about the British aristocracy, a bunch of outrageous dysfunctional lunatics. Lord Rodney seemed nice though. Such a gentleman.

She forced herself out of her revere to re-examined the woman looking back at her from the ceiling.

It had been a long time since she'd looked in a full-length mirror. When she had married Olek, Olga had the figure of a Bolshoi ballet dancer, now she resembled a Gdansk ship worker.

What happened to me?” She wailed at her reflection. “Olek, that's what happened.” The other woman replied.

It was true. Her marriage to Olek had been a disastrous mistake her ego had made.

The raucous noise of debauchery from the room next door didn't penetrate into her pain. She didn't hear Olek's voice booming out his desire for more chocolate ice cream on his willy, and “Lick it off. Lick it off. Oh fuck, yes just like that.” She heard none of this. For the first time in a very long while Olga was seeing herself as she really was, frizzy haired, badly dressed and worst of all – fat. She didn't know where they came from. They just appeared. Long, wet, salty tears that ran in a continuous stream from her over made up eyes and down her plump cheeks, leaving a dark trench of mascara through her thickly applied face powder.

I I shit. I look like my mother.” Olga howled.

She rolled off the bed and made her way unsteadily to the bathroom. The misery didn't stop there. The whole room was one big mirror. From every angle loomed a large crumpled fat lady with frizzy hair and a tear stained face.

Feeling the weight of a very unhappy world thrust on her shoulders, Olga decided a bath would make her feel a whole lot better. Through her tears she turned on the taps and began looking in the bathroom cabinet for something that would create a froth of blubbery body hiding bubbles.

You wun me run baf fo you?” The lilting voice of Dolores asked from the doorway.

Olek, didn't find Dolores, as he searched through the house for her. He found something much better. He found the Chang twins. Emily and Emma Chang had come to Rawlings for the St Jude's Academy for Girls, class of 96, school reunion.

Identical in every way Emily and Emma, where for Olek, a dream come true. Long dark hair that flowed across their shoulders over juicy sticky outty boobs, and down their slimline backs all the way to pert butts. And ooh those eyes. He couldn't help it, Olek had a hard-on the moment he saw the two of them in the hot-tub wearing nothing but their smiles. Several bottles of champagne later, Olek had what he'd only ever imagined, but never experienced, his was the filling for a two girl sandwich up against his naked body.

Olek had a voracious sexual appetite, for any woman other than his wife. He had married Olga Soreninsky, because she was the daughter of General Soreninsky, now dead but once a high up member of the KGB. With his power came money, a lot of money, enough to be considered wealth. The hundreds of millions of roubles of General Soreninsky made his daughter the most beautiful woman in the world. He did his duty on the wedding night, and then spent the next 10 years avoiding having to to his marital duty again.

This unhusbandly behavior had changed Olga from a young woman, who enjoyed sex to it's fullest, went like a bunny all night long, and could take on more than one man at a time, into an evangelist prude.

Even by Russian standards Olek, was a powerfully built man. His neck started where his head left off, and his shoulders were so broad they blocked off sunlight when he stood in doorways. It was this impersonation of a Siberian ox that had caught Olga's attention. That and the fact his enormous penis was better hung than any ox she'd ever seen.

It was this giant sized cock that Emily was now trying to get her mouth around. She gave up, and used both hands to almost circumvent his thick engorged shaft.

Emma had different ideas. A man's cock was for her pleasure, if he got enjoyment out of sticking it in her that was his bonus not hers. If a man couldn't make her come with his dick, then she expected he do it some way else. Olek, whilst big, didn't match up to Emma's standards. She pushed his big Russian face into her pussy and demanded, “Fuck my cunt with your Ruskie tongue you great big bear.”

Delighted to oblige he sucked and licked his way to her climactic heaven. Three hours of giving and receiving multiple orgasms, Olek remembered he had a wife somewhere in Rawlings. Too exhausted to care, he let Emily and Emma, squash him into a blissful satisfied sleep.

Olga slid into the hot suds grateful that the bubbles hid from the many mirrored angles of the bathroom her lump of a body. She closed her eyes and forgot about Olek, he could be screwing cousin Rupert for all she cared. Olga was in a moment of time that she doubted she would experience again. She was taking a bath in an old English country mansion, run for her by the master's servant.

Her imagination wandered along the paths of romantic novels she had read. An English Earl, a country house, tea on the lawn and not a vodka drinking loud mouthed brute of a husband anywhere in sight. She sighed a long deep sigh, wishing that the moment would never come to an end.

Care for a drop of the old French joy? Dear lady.” Rodney asked coming to sit on edge of the bath. He held two glasses of champagne, one of which he gave to Olga.

To her surprise he slipped out of his bathrobe and joined her in the bath. To her greater amazement she didn't mind. His big toe found a part of her that hadn't been found in a long time.

Dolores tells me you were crying.”

Olga nodded, unable to speak due to the pleasure she was enjoying between her legs.

His toe penetrated deeper into her frontal crack, “I hate to see you up-set dear lady. I thought I'd come and cheer you up. Fancy a damn good fuck later?” He asked.

The intense moan of pleasure as she had her first orgasm in years, answered his question.

Holding her hand, Rodney helped her out of the bath, into the bedroom and onto the king-sized heart shaped bed. His erection told Olga that she was about to get a second orgasm and she couldn't wait.

The characters in this short novella are not based on any real person and are purely fictional from the author's furtive imagination.

I hope you enjoyed this 5th chapter in my naughty novella -

Coming Soon.

Chapter 6 – Steamed Dumplings and Borscht

Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Half Blood – Turning the Pages Magazine, 2013 Adventure Book of the Year & 2013 Paranormal Book of the year.

Award winning novel about alien vampires from a distant galaxy, who are the good guys.

The Warlock's Woman. A beautiful psychic, an evil warlock and a sexy ghost. A love triangle with an unexpected twist at the end.

Get Slim Stay Slim – Permanently shows you through the use of hypnosis, the secret to reducing unwanted weight permanently and ending the misery of yo-yo dieting.

My other blog, connected to my weight reduction book with helpful ideas on how to maintain continuous weight reduction.

photos courtesy of

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Sex. Sin. And a sisterly misunderstanding.

The Spanky Bottom Consultation.
By Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Chapter 4 – Sex. Sin. And a sisterly misunderstanding.

Rodney awoke with the satisfaction of someone who was making a lot of money. He stretched, scratched and rubbed his balls for some considerable time before pressing his bedside bell.

Come in.” He answered to the soft knock a few minutes later.

Good morning missa Wodnee.” Dolores, his Filipino maid came in carrying his breakfast tray. Before laying it carefully across his knees, she fluffed up his pillows and arranged him comfortably in an up-right position.

As Dolores bent over the bed, Rodney resisted with some difficulty, the temptation to put his hand up her uniform and have a general fiddle.

Don't screw with the staff. It makes it difficult to replace them when they sue.” His father had spoken with a tone of experience. As it was the only piece of advice his father ever gave him, Rodney decided it had to be worth following.

You wun me run baf fo you?” Dolores asked in her own peculiar brand of English.

It had taken Rodney a couple of weeks before he understood a word she was saying to him, after several misunderstandings and an unwanted sponge bath, Rodney had learnt to interpret her almost unintelligible accent with ease.

No thank you. I will shower today. No need to run me a bath.”

After a long hot shower and the feeling that every oyster in the world belonged to him, Rodney bounced down the majestic staircase of Rawlings Hall, blissfully unaware that within a very few minutes his bubble of euphoria would be burst.

Good morning Giles. Isn't it a wonderful day. Your gays performed like circus acrobats last night, I didn't know it was possible for men to have such agility. Damn good idea of yours installing two-way mirrors, the DVD’s should prove very popular.” Rodney chirped looking forward to his first job of the day, counting the takings from the previous evening.

Your sister Audrey's just rung. She's coming for the week-end and she's bringing people with her. She wants the Chinese room made ready for guests, a room for herself and another room for someone called Jasper.” Giles responded.

Hearing this unexpected appalling news, Rodney missed the last step and fell forward with a heavy thud, twisting his ankle awkwardly. Sitting on the marble tiled floor of the spacious and once elegant hallway, now decorated with statues of naked men and women having sex in an assortment of differing anatomical positions. He stammered, oblivious to the throbbing pain in his rapidly swelling ankle, “She's what?”

She's coming for the week-end. She's just telephoned. She'll be here this afternoon and she's bringing people with her. “ Giles repeated slowly.

But – but- but -that's today. What the hell are we going to do about all this?” He waved a hand in the general direction of the sexually rampant alabaster figures. “I mean we're fully booked. Typical of the stupid bitch not to give enough notice. Now what the fuck are we going to ?”

Giles raised a supercilious eyebrow, before he could say anything, Rodney exclaimed, “We are not going to do anything. You are going to phone her back and put her off.” Rodney hated it when Giles showed his superiority with a simple expression.

Unruffled Giles replied, “I've tried. She is adamant. She's going to be here this afternoon and she's coming with company. Russians, and apparently they think you are an aristocrat, so she wants you to pretend to be a Lord.” With that he turned on his heel and left Dolores struggling to help Rodney up.


Audrey Elizabeth Evelyn August St John, had never married. The shining example of manhood Rodney had impressed on his sister filled her with a zealot's seal to remain – singularly intact. Not only had she never married but at 47 she was still a cock virgin. Her sexual relief came from a large silicone vibrator with detachable heads and varying speeds, for, as the brochure put it, climactic joy. Bobby, as she liked to call her night time friend, always came with her on her frequent business trips. Along with her personal assistant Jasper.

Bobby's cheaper than hiring one of the locals. You never know where they have been.” A favorite quote to Jasper, who was himself an enthusiastic hirer of locals, both male and female.

Audrey Augusts St John was a driven woman. Driven mainly by an anger, that saw her feckless half-wit of a brother inherit the family fortune, whilst she got nothing but a lonely childhood and a second rate education. She never went to the Swiss finishing school Rodney thought he'd paid for, instead she diverted the money into her own bank account and started The Audrey St John PR Agency. Hard work, long hours and an uncanny knack for knowing who to bribe and who was a good candidate for blackmail had made her the most successful and sort after publicist between London and New York.

Her ruthless business practices won her no friends and plenty of enemies, none of which she gave a rat's fart about. She was going to pull off the biggest deal of her business life. Olek Dmitri Pullemov, billionaire oligarch was about to sign an exclusive contract with her agency to publicize his recently bought shipping and airline company.

His wife Olga, the real money and power behind the Pullemov throne, held deep seated opinions on everything, mainly upholding high sexual moral values, and her total revulsion of anything to do with homosexuality. She kept a close watch on her husband's fidelity, with good reason. Olek preferred his women 30 years younger and at least 5 stone lighter. He also had a hankering for South Asian women.

But above all of that, the one thing that really pushed Olga's buttons, was her sycophantic love for the British aristocracy. One week-end stay at Rawlings Hall, and Audrey was sure Olek would be told to sign on the dotted line. She put down the telephone with the satisfaction that her useless over privileged brother, would at last have a reason for his existence. One week-end of aristocratic fawning, and Olek's multi million dollars, would soon be winging their way into her Swiss bank account.

$ $ $ $

The Chinese suite. She wants the Chinese suite. She can't have the bloody Chinese suite, it's now the S & M and bondage love cage.” Rodney sat slumped in his office chair, his foot resting on his desk with a bag of frozen peas across his ankle to help get the swelling down.

I don't see how you can stop her.”

Rodney didn't like Giles's tone at all. If he hadn't known better he'd have thought Giles was enjoying this disastrous turn of events.

There must be some way we can stop her.” He whined knowing full well there wasn't.

The codicil on his parents will, stated quite clearly, he got everything if he looked after his sister and that included her right to visit the family home whenever she wanted to. Break the codicil, and everything became Audrey's, and as the estate had technically paid for his racehorse and Jaguar sports car, she got those too.

As Rodney mused this over, it occurred to him that the will didn't say anything about what state the house should be in when she got there. As far as he was concerned she and her uninvited guests could take Rawlings Hall as they found it. And screw her, which was very likely to happen as the week-end was booked for a ladies school reunion and he'd laid on extra consorts. Fortunately as the S & M and bondage love cage hadn't been required, her Russians could have it. Audrey could have Giles's room and Jasper, whoever he was, could sleep in the attic. Giles would have to bunk with Jasper. Pleased with this exceptional ability for organization, he poured himself a large malt whiskey and settled down to read the racing papers, quickly falling into an untroubled sleep helped by a combination of whiskey and painkillers.

All right you long stream of piss. What the fuck have you done to Rawlings?” Rodney awoke with a start.

Pardon?” He winced.

I said you turd stuck to a dog's arse - what have you done to the Chinese suite and my family home? I have Olek and Olga Pullemov coming here in less than an hour and they are expecting to see an aristocratic country house not a sodding brothel.”

Err.” As his senses parted he realized a tall woman, with a mass of blonde hair was leaning too close to his face shouting at him.

It took him a moment or two before he recognized his sister, “You've changed your hair color. Suits you.”

Don't sidestep the issue. What is going on?” On the few occasions Rodney and Audrey had met it was never longer that a simple hello as they bypassed each other on the way to somewhere. He didn't need to know the woman standing in-front of him that well, to see she was spitting dummies at him. Where the fuck was Giles, when he wanted him.

Thinking on his one good foot, Rodney replied, “I think I've improved the old place, giving it a more modem aspect.”

The rapidly moving twitch she seemed to have developed told him she wasn't buying it.


She cut him sort, “I'll tell you what you have done. You useless excuse for a human being. You – have just lost me several million pounds. And if you think I am going to take that lying down you are very much mistaken.”

He was about to point out that the act of lying down was actually making him lot of money when the door crashed open and Carlo stormed into Rodney's study.

I won't work under these circumstances. I am an artiste. When I screw the ladies they know they've been screwed. My foreplay is a legend across 4 counties.” Carlo stood crossed arms waiting for a reaction.

And – yes. What in god's name are a dozen or so semi-naked men doing running around the house with their pricks hanging out?” Audrey pointed at Carlo, whose not insubstantial penis was jutting out from his patent leather dick pouch, fully erect from the Viagra pill he'd not long taken.

I – madam.” Carlo pulled himself up to his full stature of 5 foot 4, he hadn't been hired for his height, “Am – not responsible for the fat Russian woman fainting. If I had known she didn't want me to pull off her panties I wouldn't have. I am a professional, and if anyone wants my professional cock, and I expect they will, I shall be in the hot-tub.” Mustering all his dignity, he strode back into the hallway, wiggling his bare arse as he walked.

Audrey's twitch made in down the side of her face, all the way to her upper lip, “You - remove that bag of frozen vegetables from your ankle and limp behind me.”

The door to the Chinese suite was open and Olga Pullemov was lying unconscious across the heart shaped king-sized bed. Her husband was kneeling over her, smacking her across the face and shouting something, Rodney assumed by the man's tone, was, “Wake up you stupid bitch.”

He stopped for a second as she groaned slightly, then went back to whacking with his original enthusiasm.

I say old boy.” Rodney intervened, clutching hold of Olek's hand before he had a chance of another thwack, “I think this is how it's done.”

Limping across to the bathroom Rodney returned with a wet cloth in his hand, laying it across Olga's bright red cheeks he soothed, “There, there dear lady. Nothing to worry about just a bit of a misunderstanding.”

Her groan became a hmm. Opening insipid blues eyes she peered up into Rodney's concerned expression, softly uttered, “Is that you my lord.” In better English than either Rodney or Audrey were expecting.

Absolutely dear lady. Let me introduce myself, Lord Rodney Augusts St John, Earl of Rawlings. I believe you know my sister the countess.” In for a penny – in for a pound, Rodney thought as he pulled Olga into a sitting position.

The smile spreading across Audrey's wide mouth and her non twitching facial muscles said he'd been forgiven. They both knew he'd always been a convincing liar.

My lord there was a very strange man in the room. He tried to touch my private parts.”

Take no notice dear lady. I am afraid, cousin Rupert is a cross we Augusts St John's have to bare. Inbreeding has taken a terrible toll on the family. It is such a pity that you have come to Rawlings at the time of our annual family get together.”

Olga's cupid bow lips mouthed, “Your family? The house is going to be full of aristocrats?”

Just the important ones, dear lady.”

Oh my. I am spending the week-end with royalty.” With that Olga slid out from Rodney's grasp and back into unconsciousness.

They left Olga to sleep off her second faint, quietly removing from the room, all the whips, face clamps, studded high heeled boots etc.

Seizing this unexpected opportunity of freedom from his wife's very vigilant watch, Olek, went in search of the almond eyed, olive skinned, beauty he saw carrying a serving tray of full champagne glasses.


The characters in this short novella are not based on any real person and are purely fictional from the author's furtive imagination.

I hope you enjoyed this 4th chapter in my naughty novella - coming soon.

Chapter 5 – The Naked Oligarch Uncoupling.

Josephine Sanchez Vanner

Half Blood – Turning the Pages Magazine, 2013 Adventure Book of the Year & 2013 Paranormal Book of the year.

Award winning novel about alien vampires from a distant galaxy, who are the good guys.

The Warlock's Woman. A beautiful psychic, an evil warlock and a sexy ghost. A love triangle with an unexpected twist at the end.

Get Slim Stay Slim – Permanently - shows you, through the use of self-hypnosis, the secret to reducing unwanted weight permanently and ending the misery of yo-yo dieting.

My other blog, connected to my weight reduction book with helpful ideas on how to maintain continuous weight reduction.

photo courtesy of